Hellos and Goodbyes

Hellos and Goodbyes

By Isaac Kemsley, Salmonberry Kindergarten Teacher

Madrona School, Bainbridge Island, Washington

Working with young children for the past several decades has shown me the absolute importance of sincere reflection upon how I present myself. As a teacher and as a parent, the children in my care have taught me that my actions carry more weight than my words.

Children in their early years learn from observation and imitation. They are watching the adults in their lives for non-verbal cues to see what is acceptable and worthwhile in our culture. A child learns not only from the classroom, but constantly throughout the day in a myriad of environments: home, car, grocery store, playground, etc. 

This sponge-like absorption of the world around the young child allows them to grow at a rapid rate in their early years, absorbing language, social norms, and behavioral expectations. It also pushes the adult responsibility of self-reflection to the forefront of our parenting tool chest. 

I am challenged every day, as a teacher and a parent, to grow as a conscious human being and to attempt to display actions that are worthy of emulation. It is sometimes a difficult, daunting task. At times I fail and must be forgiving of my personal shortcomings. But I feel that I owe it to myself, the children, and society as a whole to continue trying.

I challenge you all to approach parenting as a path to your own personal growth. Consider mentally picturing your children as YOUR teachers, who are here to show you the areas in yourself that you could reflect upon and perhaps evolve over time. 

In that vein, I ask you all to approach drop offs and pickups this school year with a high level of consciousness. 

Try to give your child your undivided attention when saying goodbye in the morning. Some physical expression of your affection, a verbal reminder of who will be picking them up after school, and the firm inner conviction that they will be well cared for and emotionally successful in their day; these actions will buoy them through the gate into new waters. 

At pickup in the afternoon, please put away your phone or wrap up your adult conversation before greeting your child. Drop down to their level, look them in the eyes, giving them your whole attention and hearing what they have to share with you. This will show them that their experience matters. It models for them the listening skills that we hope they will to develop in their lifetime. 

I also recommend that at the beginning of the year, you limit after school activities and play dates, as your child will be quite tired from the physical activities and social output that they have exerted during their day. They might ask or even beg for more stimulation, but as the wise adult, you know that they need to have some lunch/water/quiet time or a nap, so a firm and loving plan for downtime is the best way to begin the year.

There are times where these approaches might not be possible, and that, too, is alright. If the children regularly see that direct, meaningful connections are important to us, those connections will remain important to them.